There are many reasons why couples in a committed relationship may be geographically separated, from military duty to university or job responsibilities. With the prevalence of Internet dating, it is becoming more and more common for couples from the opposite ends of Australia to meet online and not actually meet until several months or even years later.
Today’s technology also makes it possible to communicate in ways that were unheard of even a decade ago, but can Skype or texting actually replace the face to face communication and physical contact that is essential in a healthy relationship? They probably can’t, though having access to a broad range of communication options can help to keep the relationship going until the couple can be together again or for the first time.
One of the main reasons that long distance partners tend to break up once they are finally able to be together is that they may have idealised the other person so much in their absence that reality is hard to deal with. It could be that previous opportunities to be together were so rare that each was on his or her best behaviour and doesn’t feel the need for that anymore.
When you don’t see someone every day, it is easy to overlook their faults or tiny annoyances that may drive you batty when you finally are together. The rose-coloured glasses you may have worn during your separation come off and your prince or princess becomes another “average Joe”. It isn’t impossible to make the switch to a more balanced relationship, though it certainly can be challenging.
Also, because human nature tends to want to make relationships work out whether they are realistic or not, you may gravitate toward thinking that you and your partner have more in common that you actually do. It’s easy to say you like the same things in an email, but it is another story entirely when you have to follow through on that in person.
To beat the dismal odds placed on long distance relationships, you will need to be very proactive and communicate openly with your partner when you have the chance. Express how you feel about being apart, but try not to dwell on it. Instead, share parts of your daily life with them so they feel in the loop about the things you deal with regarding your job, family or hobbies. When you communicate as frequently as you can, it will be a good sign that things are going well when a missed opportunity makes you pine for your long distance sweetheart even more.
