When you have really fallen for someone and are under the assumption they feel the same way about you, it can be quite painful to hear the words “it’s just not working out”. Of course, you take it as a personal rejection. How can you not? It’s not that the person who you were beginning to think you were destined to be with doesn’t want to stop dating, he or she just wants to stop dating you. Ouch.
As painful as the above scenario may be, almost everyone who ventures into the dating world will experience it at one time or another. Like all difficult situations in life, you have a choice in how you will deal with it. That may sound ridiculous now when the only choice you see is staying in bed until noon and keeping the shades drawn. You are sad, after all.
It definitely is important to take some time to process your emotions. Even if you were only dating this person for a short time, you still experienced a loss. However, don’t let a bad experience or two keep you down. Make a commitment to yourself to learn from the failed relationship and to use what you have learned toward finding a happier ending in the future.
Did your dating partner give you any reasons why they didn’t want to continue seeing you? Perhaps he thought you were too aggressive or she didn’t like the way you dress. While they are certainly entitled to their opinion, in the end you are the only one who gets to determine whether you are comfortable with the qualities that make you the person you are.
If your former sweetheart made valid points, reflect on them and determine if there are changes you can make about yourself. If you can honestly see nothing wrong, then it was probably just a case of not being a good match for each other. It happens, and it really is nothing personal.
Taking the time to work through the difficult emotions of being rejected will ultimately be a good thing. You get the opportunity to learn what issues you can’t compromise on and get a better sense of yourself in the process. This will work toward your benefit the next time you date someone who tries to steer you away from your absolutes.
By reflecting on what went wrong in your previous relationship, you will be in a better position to stand firm for your beliefs and continue in your search for someone who shares them. You will not get caught in the trap of seeking approval and validation from other people when you have a good understanding of who you are and what you want.
