Love is a wonderful thing, but when it is pursued too quickly, there is a greater danger of becoming so enmeshed with the other person that you lose your own identify for the sake of being a couple. Even people who swore this would never happen to them find themselves replacing their own habits with their partner’s or pursuing the relationship to the detriment of all other relationships in their lives.
Hormones can make you do funny things. In the rush and excitement of a new relationship, you may feel like you want to spend every waking moment together. However, if you give into this temptation, you will more than likely be in for a relationship that is going to crash and burn. As difficult as it may seem, it is very important to take things slowly. There is no need to see each other every single weekend or speak multiple times a day with someone who you really barely know.
If you had a wide range of hobbies before you met your sweetheart, keep pursuing them. Any person who is emotionally healthy will understand and appreciate that you need to have time to cultivate your own interests and can’t always be available to them. Encourage your new boyfriend or girlfriend to do the same thing. Eventually, you may find that your interests overlap and you want to pursue them together, but it is unrealistic to think that you will enjoy everything the other person does.
Remember that friends and family are real people and will be legitimately hurt if you regularly cancel plans just to be with your new fling. Keep plans that you have already made with other people and if you have a routine with them, keep that too. It is healthy to have connections with many people in life, not just the one you may be romantically involved with. Friends and family can help you realise there is more to life than the flush of romance you may presently be feeling.
When you are together with your special someone, be vigilant about making your own preferences known. You don’t want to be selfish or obnoxious, of course, but neither do you want to go along with everything your partner wants just because the relationship is new and you want to keep the momentum of that magical feeling. If you cater to his or her every whim in the beginning of a relationship, it will set a precedent that is hard to break if things become more serious between the two of you.
In short, if you have found the perfect partner, he or she will love you for who you are. Never change so much for another person that those who love you don’t recognize who you are anymore.
