If there were only one thing that women wanted from men (and we all know that isn’t the case), it would be confidence. Almost every straight woman will agree on this point. There are two immediate thoughts that come up in response to this. First of all, is there even a good way to define what confidence means? Second, how do you make yourself feel confident?
What it Means
While it might not be what you want to hear, confidence means different things to different women. What one woman might call confidence, another might call recklessness, arrogance, narcissism, or obsession. Where one woman might think it is confident to be direct and put your intentions on the table, another might think the very same behaviour is needy.
In short, every woman is a different person. Who knew?
Confidence is probably best defined by its opposite: fear. If you are not nervous, afraid, or second guessing yourself, you are probably acting confident. If you are analysing every move you make, wondering if you should be doing something differently, or beating yourself up, you probably aren’t.
How to Get it
Confidence doesn’t come easily, and if you try to “act” confident you will usually end up overcompensating and giving yourself away by insulting everybody around you or doing something else that makes you look insecure.
Unfortunately, there really isn’t any quick fix that will make you confident overnight. The best way to develop confidence is to simply keep going on dates. This is one area where online dating is especially helpful. You don’t have to worry about whether or not any given person is “available.” All you have to be concerned about is the type of date you should go on, what you will do, and so on. Knowing that you will never “run out” of dates can be helpful if you are trying to work on becoming more confident.
Confidence is something that you develop naturally once you become accustomed to something that you were once afraid of. If you look back on your life, there are probably several things you were once nervous about that you are now confident about, or hardly even think about at all. By looking back on your past, you will see that there was nothing magical about where that confidence came from. It simply came with the territory. Once you got used to the new skill, it was no longer new and scary.
While there is no quick fix, it can certainly help to go through some kind of ritual before meeting up with your date. The key is to get yourself into the right frame of mind. You shouldn’t have any expectations about what should or shouldn’t happen on that date, and your primary goal should always be to enjoy yourself.
